Here we go.
Oh for the love…
I’m sitting here with butterflies in my stomach (the kind you get when you’re excited & nervous at the same time) and less than steady hands. I thought about starting this last night, but knew I’d have more courage in the morning.
So here I am.
It’s Sunday morning, I’ve finished my coffee (both cups), enjoyed the paper and am listening to Brene’ Brown’s new TED talk (just posted this month) called “Listening to shame” (I’ll embed the video at the end of the post. Take the time to watch it, it’s SO worth it!) for the 4th or 5th time.
Somehow it’s giving an me extra boost of strength to post this.
Clearly this isn’t going to be the type of post you’re used to reading on “The WordPress Chick”.
And that’s O.K.
I’m really doing this for me and trusting the pull that has brought me here.
I will tell you this is going to be LONG.
BUT... it’s hilarious and profound at the same time.
If this resonates with you- in ANY way- leave me a comment.
In the last year I’ve realized that sharing is more powerful than I ever imagined- and there’s a freedom & letting go that happens when we share.
Here’s how this ALL came about.
It was one of THOSE days… You know what I’m talking about. One of those moments when you feel like crying (I did), curling up in a ball (I did) and punching someone in the face (I didn’t), all at the same time.
Fortunately a post by Ash Ambirge’ over at ‘The Middle Finger Project’ showed up with an audio clip (my friend Steve has now set this as my ringtone), which helped me move from angst to anger (not always the smart choice- but certainly makes it easier to finish working).
(Click the “Business is Bad” below to hear the clip)
Business is Bad
Then I inserted my foot in my mouth. I was SO fired up and pissed off about something that I got on my high horse, wrote the email and hit ‘send’.
I knew the second I did it that I should have saved it as a draft and revisited- THE NEXT DAY (so awesome that as I write this I’m NOW remembering you can ‘unsend’ a message with gmail).
The consequence came (nothing horrific) and then one of my favorite words popped into my head.
What followed is something that has been whispering to me for a couple of years now.
(this isn’t even the woowoo part… hang in there, it’s coming)
STEP IT UP GIRL!
Yea, not really a whisper anymore.
It’s more like a shout and I can’t cover my ears anymore pretending I don’t hear it.
What you’re going to read below is a skype conversation I had with my good friend Steve O’Sullivan. Steve has an online business (he’s relaunching his site, so more on that later) and is also my cohort for the “WordPress Video Club” (coming SO soon!). He’s also stellar at pointing out what I’ve created and what I’m capable of (a virtual bow & hats off to you my friend!).
This conversation was later on in the evening on the same day I mentioned above.
Here’s my warning and disclaimer:
Warning: You’re probably going to get more of a glimpse into my personality than you ever have (or possibly wanted) as well as my sense of humor. There’s also language <swearing> that I don’t normally use on this site (I’ve yet to meet a plugin that makes me swear… close, but not yet).
Disclaimer: My ‘one of those’ days that I’m referring to came after I’d just about had it with a client, so it only makes sense to let ANY client I’ve EVER worked with know three things:
- If you think this is you, it’s not. I can pretty much bet the farm this client doesn’t read this site.
- Without you (my clients), I wouldn’t be where I am today- and I’m grateful for it all.
- It’s time for a change.
So, without further ado, here is the skype conversation that birthed My Manifesto (part 2).[3/6/2012 7:48:26 PM] Kim: oi! [3/6/2012 7:49:07 PM] Steve O’Sullivan: Oi? [3/6/2012 7:49:38 PM] Kim: how YOU doin? [3/6/2012 7:49:43 PM] Steve O’Sullivan: LMAO [3/6/2012 7:49:55 PM] Steve O’Sullivan: good, how YOU doin? [3/6/2012 7:50:09 PM] Kim: um… [3/6/2012 7:50:15 PM] Kim: still hating that client. [3/6/2012 7:50:16 PM] Steve O’Sullivan: what’s up in the house YO! [3/6/2012 7:50:20 PM] Steve O’Sullivan: fuckers [3/6/2012 7:50:25 PM] Kim: realize though that that is ALL I’ve been focusing on [3/6/2012 7:51:00 PM] Kim: no wonder I keep attracting MORE clients [3/6/2012 7:51:07 PM] Steve O’Sullivan: ya, welll [3/6/2012 7:51:11 PM] Steve O’Sullivan: thats what happens [3/6/2012 7:51:17 PM] Steve O’Sullivan: ugh! [3/6/2012 7:51:19 PM] Kim: well what???? [3/6/2012 7:51:43 PM] Steve O’Sullivan: you get more of what you focus on [3/6/2012 7:51:53 PM] Steve O’Sullivan: whether you want it or not [3/6/2012 7:51:54 PM] Kim: totally! [3/6/2012 7:51:58 PM] Steve O’Sullivan: sucks, huh [3/6/2012 7:52:02 PM] Kim: clearly I was confused.. [3/6/2012 7:52:31 PM] Kim: yep, BUT… at least I’m catching myself sooner [3/6/2012 7:52:50 PM] Kim: can you handle some woowoo? [3/6/2012 7:52:58 PM] Steve O’Sullivan: always [3/6/2012 7:53:00 PM] Kim: haha… [3/6/2012 7:53:10 PM] Steve O’Sullivan: how bout some woohoo! [3/6/2012 7:53:41 PM] Kim: I honestly feel like I’m SUPPOSED to do something kind of drastic…. I don’t mean crazy or anything, but SERIOUSLY put it out there that I’m NOT taking clients. [3/6/2012 7:53:53 PM] Kim: kind of change things around on thewphick.. [3/6/2012 7:54:08 PM] Steve O’Sullivan: hick> [3/6/2012 7:54:15 PM] Kim: so on the services page TOTALLY change it up. State that sites START at 2k…. [3/6/2012 7:54:23 PM] Steve O’Sullivan: 5k [3/6/2012 7:54:27 PM] Kim: LOVE IT! [3/6/2012 7:54:32 PM] Steve O’Sullivan: yeah! [3/6/2012 7:55:08 PM] Kim: And I’m REALLY going to just lay it on the line..how I work, etc. I think I need to get CRYSTAL CLEAR on what my business IS, not what I keep doing. [3/6/2012 7:55:14 PM] Kim: which means…. [3/6/2012 7:55:21 PM] Kim: no more time on revamping proposals. [3/6/2012 7:55:27 PM] Kim: i won’t need them [3/6/2012 7:55:34 PM] Kim: No more phone calls with clients [3/6/2012 7:55:39 PM] Steve O’Sullivan: totally! [3/6/2012 7:55:58 PM] Kim: Create a publishing calendar for posts, products and PAID webinars [3/6/2012 7:56:08 PM] Steve O’Sullivan: what? PAID? [3/6/2012 7:56:15 PM] Kim: Have a CLEAR newsletter structure that goes out FUCKING WEEKLY [3/6/2012 7:56:18 PM] Kim: hell yes [3/6/2012 7:56:19 PM] Steve O’Sullivan: <sarcasm> [3/6/2012 7:56:23 PM] Kim: I know.. [3/6/2012 7:56:34 PM] Kim: Set affiliate income goals [3/6/2012 7:56:37 PM] Steve O’Sullivan: fucking weekly instead of fucking weakly [3/6/2012 7:56:40 PM] Kim: start writing guest blog posts [3/6/2012 7:56:46 PM] Steve O’Sullivan: what? [3/6/2012 7:56:46 PM] Kim: amen! [3/6/2012 7:56:57 PM] Kim: what do you mean, what? [3/6/2012 7:57:00 PM] Steve O’Sullivan: and get more famous? [3/6/2012 7:57:07 PM] Steve O’Sullivan: <sarcasm> [3/6/2012 7:57:10 PM] Kim: FO SHIZZLE DAWG! [3/6/2012 7:57:17 PM] Steve O’Sullivan: TLMFAO [3/6/2012 7:57:23 PM] Kim: Start using my FUCKING VOICE [3/6/2012 7:57:35 PM] Kim: Take a stand against the shit that I think is bullshit….
(removal of REALLY inappropriate content… trust me)[3/6/2012 7:57:59 PM] Kim: i know, i know…tmi [3/6/2012 7:57:59 PM] Steve O’Sullivan: hahaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa [3/6/2012 7:58:00 PM] Kim: too bad [3/6/2012 7:58:02 PM] Kim: YOU started it! [3/6/2012 7:58:16 PM] Steve O’Sullivan: I know, you set me off! [3/6/2012 7:58:25 PM] Steve O’Sullivan: its totally your fault [3/6/2012 7:58:34 PM] Steve O’Sullivan: [3/6/2012 7:58:41 PM] Kim: that’s good though… because at least we’re having fun right now! [3/6/2012 7:58:46 PM] Steve O’Sullivan: fer sure [3/6/2012 7:58:52 PM] Kim: ok.. back to my mini-manifesto…. [3/6/2012 7:58:59 PM] Steve O’Sullivan: yep [3/6/2012 7:59:29 PM] Kim: Start publishing a KICK ASS PODCAST again AT LEAST twice a month with my famous-maker friend…. [3/6/2012 7:59:38 PM] Steve O’Sullivan: we could do that [3/6/2012 7:59:53 PM] Steve O’Sullivan: shit, still have to edit and post that last one [3/6/2012 7:59:54 PM] Kim: Launch the MOST phenomenal WP Video Training available on the Web TO DAT@ [3/6/2012 7:59:55 PM] Kim: date [3/6/2012 8:00:07 PM] Steve O’Sullivan: I like DAT@ [3/6/2012 8:00:17 PM] Steve O’Sullivan: D@TA [3/6/2012 8:00:23 PM] Steve O’Sullivan: D@T@ [3/6/2012 8:00:24 PM] Kim: Which we will BOTH earn at LEAST 5k a month from [3/6/2012 8:00:37 PM] Steve O’Sullivan: works for me fo shizzle [3/6/2012 8:00:47 PM] Kim: Have a FULL Shop on my site where people can buy killer products produced by yours truly [3/6/2012 8:01:06 PM] Kim: Hit the road to some COOL conferences…. no smarmy marketing! [3/6/2012 8:01:18 PM] Kim: Start producing this kick ass content on my new mac…. [3/6/2012 8:01:31 PM] Steve O’Sullivan: I like this new attitude [3/6/2012 8:01:50 PM] Steve O’Sullivan: it’s the REAL Kim Doyal [3/6/2012 8:02:05 PM] Kim: I’m not exactly sure where it came from….no.. that’s not ture [3/6/2012 8:02:07 PM] Kim: I do know [3/6/2012 8:02:12 PM] Steve O’Sullivan: contrast [3/6/2012 8:02:19 PM] Kim: yep [3/6/2012 8:02:46 PM] Kim: and CHOOSING to believe that we are SUPPOSED to do what makes us happy. [3/6/2012 8:03:14 PM] Steve O’Sullivan: what a concept [3/6/2012 8:03:17 PM] Steve O’Sullivan: 1 [3/6/2012 8:03:18 PM] Kim: I was reading the Wayne Dyer bk earlier and he refers to what James Twyman does in the Moses Code..I AM THAT I AM [3/6/2012 8:03:38 PM] Steve O’Sullivan: good movie! did u wat ch it? [3/6/2012 8:03:44 PM] Kim: It is when I TRUST that I am MOST happy. [3/6/2012 8:03:51 PM] Kim: watched part of it. Need to finish it. [3/6/2012 8:03:57 PM] Kim: I read the book though [3/6/2012 8:04:00 PM] Steve O’Sullivan: cool [3/6/2012 8:04:26 PM] Kim: i was working on my taxes stuff last night before my tax guy got here…know what I realized? [3/6/2012 8:04:37 PM] Kim: I doubled my income from 2010 to 2011 [3/6/2012 8:04:43 PM] Steve O’Sullivan: SaWEEEEEEEEEET [3/6/2012 8:05:16 PM] Kim: i haven’t added up my total expenses though [3/6/2012 8:05:21 PM] Steve O’Sullivan: that’s the killer [3/6/2012 8:05:24 PM] Kim: no.. not bad at all considering I didn [3/6/2012 8:05:30 PM] Kim: didn’t have a clear direction or focus [3/6/2012 8:05:37 PM] Kim: I FULLY INTEND TO DOUBLE MY INCOME this year [3/6/2012 8:05:46 PM] Steve O’Sullivan: now that’s what I’m talkin about! [3/6/2012 8:06:02 PM] Kim: I haven’t felt this fired up in a LONG time. [3/6/2012 8:06:09 PM] Kim: feels good. [3/6/2012 8:06:14 PM] Steve O’Sullivan: awesome [3/6/2012 8:06:21 PM] Kim: because it’s not hype… it’s coming from a much deeper place. [3/6/2012 8:06:43 PM] Kim: did you read Danielle LaPorte’s post on burning the boat? (did I send it to you?) [3/6/2012 8:07:05 PM] Steve O’Sullivan: I subscribed, but I’m behind on my email [3/6/2012 8:07:13 PM] Steve O’Sullivan: have 4000 i havent read [3/6/2012 8:07:21 PM] Steve O’Sullivan: not kidding [3/6/2012 8:07:23 PM] Kim: are you effing kidding. [3/6/2012 8:07:23 PM] Kim: haha [3/6/2012 8:07:27 PM] Kim: jeeze dude! [3/6/2012 8:07:27 PM] Steve O’Sullivan: not kidding [3/6/2012 8:07:40 PM] Steve O’Sullivan: I get a shitload of email [3/6/2012 8:07:40 PM] Kim: have you heard that analogy of burning the boat? [3/6/2012 8:07:43 PM] Steve O’Sullivan: yes [3/6/2012 8:07:51 PM] Steve O’Sullivan: no going back [3/6/2012 8:07:55 PM] Kim: yep. [3/6/2012 8:08:03 PM] Kim: thinking I need to do that [3/6/2012 8:08:40 PM] Steve O’Sullivan: that’s brave [3/6/2012 8:08:52 PM] Kim: or stupid… [3/6/2012 8:08:54 PM] Kim: no [3/6/2012 8:08:57 PM] Steve O’Sullivan: LOL! [3/6/2012 8:09:04 PM] Steve O’Sullivan: you crack meup [3/6/2012 8:09:09 PM] Steve O’Sullivan: me up? [3/6/2012 8:09:09 PM] Kim: somethhing keeps pulling me back to this [3/6/2012 8:09:39 PM] Kim: have to copy & paste something I shared with Susan that was in Wayne Dyer’s book… [3/6/2012 8:09:45 PM] Steve O’Sullivan: k, please [3/6/2012 8:10:03 PM] Steve O’Sullivan: guess you like the book, eh? [3/6/2012 8:10:15 PM] Kim: um..duh! [3/6/2012 8:10:19 PM] Kim: I love Wayne! [3/6/2012 8:10:20 PM] Steve O’Sullivan: hehehe [3/6/2012 8:10:32 PM] Kim: I’m going to meet him again at some point before he leaves this planet… [3/6/2012 8:10:40 PM] Steve O’Sullivan: excellent [3/6/2012 8:10:46 PM] Steve O’Sullivan: I’d love to meet him [3/6/2012 8:10:47 PM] Kim: I shared this with her because she’s always told me I have a ‘spark’ [3/6/2012 8:10:56 PM] Kim: I actually did meet him in SF in 04 [3/6/2012 8:11:01 PM] Steve O’Sullivan: nice! [3/6/2012 8:11:17 PM] Kim: told him his work was getting me through the losing my husband.. [3/6/2012 8:11:33 PM] Kim: he told me “you know he’s still here with you”…and gave me a big hug [3/6/2012 8:11:40 PM] Kim:
“My objective in this chapter and the next is to inspire you to recognize that a spark- a tiny fragment of the creative source of the universe- is located within you, and to help you increase the power of that spark so it becomes the primary force in your everyday life. Review the first chapter and affirm your willingness to change your concept of yourself to help you recognize and increase that spark. Then dedicate yourself to exploring this higher self I’m writing about”.[3/6/2012 8:11:41 PM] Steve O’Sullivan: sweet [3/6/2012 8:12:05 PM] Steve O’Sullivan: excellent! [3/6/2012 8:12:12 PM] Kim: it TOTALLY struck a nerve… [3/6/2012 8:12:14 PM] Steve O’Sullivan: and BTW, you do have that spark [3/6/2012 8:12:28 PM] Kim: because the other thing she keeps saying to me is “Just be willing to believe”…. [3/6/2012 8:12:32 PM] Kim: thanks.. [3/6/2012 8:12:32 PM] Steve O’Sullivan: You ARE The WordPress Hick [3/6/2012 8:12:36 PM] Kim: hick? [3/6/2012 8:12:42 PM] Kim: hahaha…. [3/6/2012 8:12:44 PM] Steve O’Sullivan: that’s what you wrote before [3/6/2012 8:12:48 PM] Kim: where? [3/6/2012 8:12:51 PM] Steve O’Sullivan: had to slide that in [3/6/2012 8:12:54 PM] Steve O’Sullivan: for a laff [3/6/2012 8:13:08 PM] Kim: probably would have had more effect if I knew I did it [3/6/2012 8:13:11 PM] Kim: haha [3/6/2012 8:13:27 PM] Kim: Cuz here’s the deal…. [3/6/2012 8:13:31 PM] Steve O’Sullivan: its way back in the thread [3/6/2012 8:13:36 PM] Kim: “What If?”…. [3/6/2012 8:13:37 PM] Kim: right? [3/6/2012 8:13:42 PM] Steve O’Sullivan: for sure [3/6/2012 8:13:51 PM] Kim: WHAT IF we chose to believe in ourselves? [3/6/2012 8:14:17 PM] Kim: WHAT IF we decided we ARE the same as “I AM THAT I AM” [3/6/2012 8:14:34 PM] Kim: then there is nothing we cannot do. [3/6/2012 8:14:53 PM] Steve O’Sullivan: I do believe it’s true [3/6/2012 8:15:28 PM] Kim: If we pay attention, we get confirmations & signs from the Universe ALL the time [3/6/2012 8:16:12 PM] Kim: being the total emotional ball that I have been lately, I almost sent this little poem to Susan that I found on Pinterest… then I have to share what she wrote when she replied to the Wayne Dyer excerpt [3/6/2012 8:16:35 PM] Kim: dammit… on my desktop…. [3/6/2012 8:16:51 PM] Steve O’Sullivan: K, what isssssssss it? [3/6/2012 8:16:54 PM] Kim: brb… [3/6/2012 8:16:58 PM] Kim: i don’t know it by heart… [3/6/2012 8:17:00 PM] Kim: i’ll be zippy [3/6/2012 8:17:18 PM] Steve O’Sullivan: k [3/6/2012 8:17:38 PM] Kim: ok- let me send it [3/6/2012 8:17:45 PM] Steve O’Sullivan: k [3/6/2012 8:17:50 PM] *** Kim sent 3237030952085573_wVvoZWnl_f.jpg ***
(Here was the quote/poem- it was an image)
I asked God for a flower, he gave me a bouquet
I asked God for a minute, he gave me a day
I asked God for true love, he gave me that too
I asked God for an angel and he gave me you
There you have it.
Typo’s and all. I wanted to keep it as in tact as possible… (hence the length of this post).
Ever been there?
Had a moment or time when you KNEW you had to make a change?
Let me know.. leave me a comment below!
And stay tuned for Part 2 tomorrow… My Manifesto!
Here’s a couple other things I referenced and one I didn’t:
Quote by Erika Napoletano (she effing ROCKS! Her new book is on the way!):
Post by Danielle LaPorte (preordered her new book too!)
“What boat do you need to burn? A testimony to your future”
New TED Talk by Brene’ Brown: “Listening to shame”